Shall We Forgive Our Fathers?

How do we forgive our fathers?
Maybe in a dream.
Do we forgive our fathers for leaving us too often,
or forever
when we were little?

Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage,
or making us nervous
because there never seemed to be any rage there at all?

Do we forgive our fathers
for marrying
or not marrying our mothers?
For divorcing,
or not divorcing our mothers?

And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth?
or coldness?
Shall we forgive them for pushing?
or leaning?
or shutting doors?
For speaking through walls?
or never speaking?
Or never being silent?

Do we forgive our fathers in our age
or in theirs?
or in their deaths,
saying it to them
or not saying it?

From "Smoke Signals" the film adaptation of the short story "This is What it Means to Say Phoenix, Arizona" from the book "The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven" by Sherman Alexie, 1993.

classification:  Home and Family

It is a fact that unresolved feelings and problems will resurface again and again during a lifetime until they are finally resolved.  I met people in the assisted living who had trust issues as children, and were dealing with it again in old  age.  A class-mate taught me this saying from his home country  "once a man, twice a child"  
I thing our feelings about our childhood remain with us all our lives to finally be resolved....
in our age?  or in theirs?