I'd Rather Be the Father

Right from the start, it's easier to be the father; no morning

nausea, no stretch marks.  You can wait outside the

delivery room and keep your clothes on.  Notice how

closely the word mother resembles smother, notice

how she is either too strict or too lenient:  wrong for giving up 

everything or not enough.  Psychology books blame her 

for whatever is the matter with all of us while the father

slips into the next room for a beer.I wanted to be

the rational one, the one who told a joke at dinner,

If I were her father we would throw a ball across

the lawn while the grill fills with smoke.  But who

wants to be the mother?  Who wants to tell her what 

to wear and deliver her to the beauty shop and explain

bras and tampons?  Who wants to show her what

a woman still is? I am supposed to teach her how to

wash the dishes and do the laundry only I don't want

her to grow up and be like me.  I'd rather be the father

who tells her she is loved; I'd rather take her fishing

and teach her to skip stones across the lake of history;

I'd rather show her how far she can spit.

by Faith Shearin, from "Moving the Piano"

Austin University Press, 2011

classification:  Home and Family