Cure for Gossip

(commonly called Scandal)

Take one ounce of  “good nature”

One ounce of an herb called by the Mormons “mind your own business”

Add “oil of benevolence”

And two ounces of “brotherly love”

Mix with a little “charity for others”

And a few sprigs of “keep your tongue between your teeth”

Let this compound simmer for a short time in a vessel called “circumspection”

And it will be ready for use.

Symptoms:  A violent itching in the tongue and roof of the mouth when you are in the company of a species called “gossips”

Application:  When you feel a fit of the disorder coming on, take a teaspoonful of the mixture, and hold it in your mouth which you must keep closely shut until you get home.

classification:  humour