Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Cure for Gossip


(commonly called Scandal)

Take one ounce of  “good nature”
One ounce of an herb called by the Mormons “mind your own business”
Add “oil of benevolence”
And two ounces of “brotherly love”
Mix with a little “charity for others”
And a few sprigs of “keep your tongue between your teeth”
Let this compound simmer for a short time in a vessel called “circumspection”
And it will be ready for use.

Symptoms:  A violent itching in the tongue and roof of the mouth when you are in the company of a species called “gossips”

Application:  When you feel a fit of the disorder coming on, take a teaspoonful of the mixture, and hold it in your mouth which you must keep closely shut until you get home.

classification:  humour

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Excerpt from "Days"


What are days for?
Days are where we live
They come, they wake us,
Time, and time over.
They re to be happy in:
Where can we live but days?

by Phillip Larkin
photo from "That Tree" Mark Hirsch


Are You in My Story?

Don Quixote makes us wonder if people are part of our story?  or are we part of their story?
Also:  it's not over until it's over.

Some People Actually Talk Like This





"In a village of Estramadura there was a shepherd–no, I mean a goatherd–which shepherd or goatherd as my story says, was called Lope Ruiz–and this Lope Ruiz was in love with a shepherdess called Torralva, who was daughter to a rich herdsman, and this rich herdsman—"

"If this be thy story, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thou wilt not have done these two days. Tell it concisely, like a man of sense, or else say no more."
"I tell it in the manner they tell all stories in my country," answered Sancho, "and I cannot tell it otherwise, nor ought your Worship to require me to make new customs."

"Tell it as thou wilt, then," said Don Quixote, "since it is the will of fate that I should hear it, go on."

Sancho continued:
"He looked about him until he espied a fisherman with a boat near him, but so small that it could only hold one person and one goat. The fisherman got into the boat and carried over one goat; he returned and carried another; he came back again and carried another. Pray, sir, keep an account of the goats which the fisherman is carrying over, for if you lose count of a single one, the story ends, and it will be impossible to tell a word more. . . . I go on, then. . . . He returned for another goat, and another, and another and another—"

"Suppose them all carried over," said Don Quixote, "or thou wilt not have finished carrying them this twelve months!"

"Tell me, how many have passed already?" said Sancho.

"How should I know?" answered Don Quixote.

"See there, now! Did I not tell thee to keep an exact account? There is an end of the story. I can go no further."

"How can this be?" said Don Quixote. "Is it so essential to the story to know the exact number of goats that passed over, that if one error be made the story can proceed no further?"

"Even so," said Sancho Panza.

From Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
Painting by Geli Korzhev, "Don Quixote and Sancho Panza" 1977-1984, oil on canvas
Museum of Russian Art, private american collection