"The Old Guitarist" by Pablo Picasso Looks Like a Baby in a Car Seat

That's our assessment of fine art

This is Actually a Simile

"Charlie had Sophie strapped to his chest like a terrorist baby bomb when he came down the back steps.      She had just gotten to the point where she could hold up her head, so he had strapped her in face out so she could look around.  The way her arms and legs waved around as Charlie walked, she looked as if she was skydiving and using a skinny nerd as a parachute."

See?  It uses like and as

From "A Dirty Job" by Christopher Moore

Spelling Mistakes in Public Places

Desaparecidos (Spanish for Disappeared Ones)

+

Desperado,

=

From the Adventure Dome at Circus Circus Hotel in Las Vegas
You'd think they'd check the spelling of Desperado Hideaway.

At least they have ramp access

Riots in Colombian Cities 2013

Protestors in Bogotá, August 29, 2013

"Gente pobre con uniformes, golpeando gente con hambre, para el bienestar personal de gente rica sin uniformes y sin hambre"  (translation:  "Poor people in uniform, beating hungry people for the well-being of rich people neither in uniform nor hungry")

We all thought the Free Trade Agreement (Tratado de Libre Comercio) would bring a benefit to Colombia by trading with the giant US economy.  Turns out they can't compete with cheap potatoes, milk and onions being imported from the US.  (there's an irony for you--the potato originated in the Andes).

When farmers began blocking roads and protesting, many Colombians supported them including university students who actively engaged with police.

Farmers say they cannot make a living with such competition and against high tariffs, among other grievances.

President Santos suggested that the protesters include leftist extremists who just want to further their interests and destabilize the government.

"Things Are More Easily Acquired Than Got Rid Of" (Thoreau)

"For the last two decades, I have spent
83% of my waking hours enjoying the freedom of not having a cellphone,
5% feeling smug about it,
2% in situations in which a phone would have been awfully convenient and
10% fielding incredulous questions.

...I explain that my colleagues are very tolerant,
the firm provides me with all of the latest communication tools
(computer, telephone, Post-its)
right at my desk
....
indeed people lived this way back at the
Dawn of Civilization, circa 1992"

from "My Life as a Cellphone Holdout" by Gary Sernovitz, Wallstreet Journal, 9 August 2013

"Pleasure of Learning" from Aristotle

"The pleasure of learning is an important ingredient in the productive sciences.  Contemplation or the actuality of knowing is the prime component of eudaimonia which is the goal of the practical sciences.  Truth and knowledge are the direct aim of the theoretical sciences.

The desire for knowledge, which Aristotle thought to be part of every man's nature...was the dominant aspect of his own personality."

from "Aristotle: A Very Short Introduction" by Johnathan Barnes

"We delight to contemplate things...which in themselves would give us pain, because in them we experience a pleasure of learning which outweighs the pain"

paraphrasing Aristotle in "I Am Half-Sick of Shadows" by Alan Bradley

Painting is "The School of Athens" by Italian painter Raphael. There, see?
"Bite-Sized Literature" gives you art too.

Denizens

Denizens means residents.
"Disruption: A Blogger Mocks the Denizens of Silicon Valley"  by Nick Bilton, August 25, 2013 New York Times

A Demonym is the name for people who live in a country or locality, usually formed by adding suffixes "an", "er", "ite" and "ese" to the locale.  I have not seen any rule or pattern for these.



The most common suffix is just "n" because so many countries and locations end in the letter "a"
like:
Liberian
Indian
Albanian
Libyan
Bolivian
Jamaican
Tongan
Minnesotan


Add "an" (especially when the locale ends in a vowel)
Chicagoan
Chilean
European
Mexican
Haitian (pronunciation changes)

Also "ian" in the case of:
Parisian
Nigerian
Brazilian
(frequently , but not limited to, when the name ends in a consonant)

add a suffix "er" for many places like:
New Englander
Londoner
Berliner
New Yorker

add the suffix "ite" (usually cities)
for:
Muskovite (resident of Moscow)
Vancouverite
Denverite

add the suffix "ese" with:
Chinese
Congolese
Taiwanese

suffix "ish" for:
English
Danish
British
Irish

Add the suffix "i"
Bengali
Iraqi
Israeli

Sometimes the demonym derives from the language spoken there.
Angelinos (Los Angeles)
Breton (Brittany)
Boricua (Puerto Rico)
Québécois (Quebec)
Porteño (Buenos Aires)

And a lot of irregular endings like
Cypriot (Cyprus)
Spaniard (Spain)
French
Dutch
Hoosier (Indiana)

In the U.S. the demonym is often an adjective, such as "Alaskan salmon"
In Canada, usually not, such as "Canada Geese" or "Ontario Provincial Police"

The bottom line (here at the bottom) is that you go by what the denizens call themselves.

Bluetoothy

 "A Way With Words" is on Public Radio, waywordradio.org, Facebook and Twitter
They suggest that sometimes a couple may be paired, but they're just not connected.  They're Bluetoothy.
(See yesterday's post on Bluetooth)

An example of how emerging and new technology generates a whole new twist in language.

Cartoon from everydaypeoplecartoons.com

Bluetooth

Ericsson, the Swedish multinational tech company created the Bluetooth logo by adapting the runes for the name of the Danish King Harald Blatand  (Blåtand/Blåtann) 935 - 985 C.E.

Legend reports King Harald was nicknamed "Bluetooth" for his love of blueberries which stained his teeth.
He is best known for uniting Danish tribes and as an early convert to Christianity around 960 C.E

Bluetooth technology enables wireless communication between computers, printers, cellulars and other devices. 

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

"Captain:  Ever since pirates begins, pirates only speaks in the present tense, does pirates!  First man on this ship as uses the past or pluperfect tense dies where he stands!

Pirate 2:  He wouldn't dare!

BANG

Captain:  Or a conditional..."

Michael and I laughed so much...read the whole script here 
http://scienceoftheinvisible.blogspot.co.uk/2008/09/arrrr.html

The notion that pirates say "arrr" comes from the 1950 Disney Movie "Treasure Island"  Robert Newton, who played Long John Silver, came from southwest England where the accent emphasizes the "R".
Newton played the part with gusto, rolling his eyes and exaggerating his "RRRRRs"   He also played "Blackbeard the Pirate" in 1952.  Many actors since then have tried to duplicate his accent.


See also "The one and only, official, accept-no-substitutes Talk Like a Pirate Day Web site
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

A 12-Year-Old's Response to IF

If you could dream you’re all alone

   And still work with others as a friend.

If you can think you’re a great man of power

And still gave respect for the poor.

If you could meet the fanciest man in the world

   And still treat others like a king.

If you can hear the truth of a shocking story

And still trust the truth.

If you can witness wrong of others

   And still be committed to the right.

If you can live life helping others

   And never hurt them so.

If you can win the hardest match of the year

And still not speak a word about it.

If at times you lose a humiliating match

   And still call it a fun game.

If you can love all of the world

   And yet be strong enough to survive its challenges.

Then you will be an appreciated man.

   You will have hardships and fun.

You will feel lonely and defeated.

   And even more, you’ll be grateful for it all.

original poem by Michael Skinner                         

9/17/13

IF by Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Stephen Leacock "Arctic Expedition of 'The Neptune"

Arctic Expedition of “The Neptune”

under Commander A. P. Low to Hudson Straits, August 22, 1903

While we welter

In the swelter 
Of the pestilential heat 
Drinking Sodas in Pagodas 
At the corner of the Street,

It seems to me 
That it would be 
My highest aspiration

To sail away 
On a Holiday 
Of Arctic Exploration.

Let me lie in my pajamas on the ice Of Baffin's Bay, 
In the thinnest of chemises, where the Polar breezes play, 
Underneath a frozen awning let me lie at ease a span, 
While beneath the bright Aurora roars the ventilation fan. 

Can you wonder now that Nansen,

and that Peary and that Low 
Should wander forth, And struggle north,

As far as they can go?

When the hero

Under zero 
Lives on frozen lager beer

And a demi-can 
Of Pemmican, 
You need not shed a tear.

He seeks a higher latitude,

I quite admit the feat;

The reason is a platitude,

He's crazy with the heat.

Stephen Leacock  Canadian writer, 1869-1944 

Norwegian explorer Fridtjof Nansen, crossed Greenland 1888, and travelled "farthest north" in 1895, almost reaching the North Pole.  Later he was a statesman, humanitarian and Nobel prize winner (1922).

US Rear Admiral Robert Peary is credited with being first to arrive at the geographic North Pole in 1909.

learn more about A.P. Low  at http://pubs.aina.ucalgary.ca/arctic/Arctic39-3-274.pdf

"She looked like a walking bird's nest, or, rather, more like an ambulatory haystack."

from "The Weed that Strings the Hangman's Bag" by Alan Bradley

photo from apartycrasher.biz

Prayers

"Ah, the prayers of the millions, how they must fight and destroy each other on their way to the throne of God."

From "Tortilla Flat" by John Steinbeck

When my brother was a teenager, he saw a motorcycle for sale in the neighbour's yard.  He set his heart on it, and prayed for a way to get money to buy it.  Turns out my mother, worried for his safety,  was praying fervently that he wouldn't be able to buy it.  Someone's prayer won't be answered.

" Bright cobwebs hung suspended like little portcullises of light between the rotten tree stumps"

from "The Weed that Strings the Hagman's Bag" by Alan Bradley

"From over the shop doors, wrought iron signs, delicate as starched lace, indicate the wares to be found within...most of the signs are gilded; in the sunlight they shine like webs spun by fabulous spiders.

from "Borrower of the Night" by Elizabeth Peters

photo from pieperphoto

The Kind of Friend I Want to Be

"That's what I love about Abilene, she can take the most complicated things in life and wrap them up so small and simple they'll fit right in your pocket"

from "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett

Learning a Language

"The only ones who succeeded in mastering an accent were those who gave in to the notion that making a fool of themselves was all part of the fun.  It was only by surrendering their entire mouth to the process that they were able to capture the native sound they so desired"

from "The Head Hunter's Daughter" by Tamar Meyers

How To Eat a Poem

Don’t be polite.

Bite in.

Pick it up with your fingers and lick the juice that

            may run down your chin.

It is ready and ripe now, whenever you are.

You do not need a knife or fork or spoon

or plate or napkin or tablecloth.

For there is no core

or stem

or rind

or pit

or seed

or skin

to throw away.

             

by Eve Merriam

Eat This Book

"he hath not eaten paper, as it were; 

he hath not drunk ink; 

his intellect is not replenished; 

he is only an animal, 

only sensible in the duller parts"

Love's Labour Lost, Act 4 Scene 2

"Some books are to be tasted,

others to be swallowed,

and some few to be chewed and digested,

that is some books are to be read only in parts,

others to be read, but not curiously,

and some few to be read wholly,

with diligence and attention."

Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

" 'Son of man, eat what is before you, eat this scroll; then go and speak to the people of Israel.'

So I opened my mouth, and he gave me the scroll to eat.

Then he said to me, 'Son of man, eat this scroll I am giving you and fill your stomach with it.'

So I ate it, and it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth."

Ezekiel 3:3,4 NIV

Coal Miners

Out of the bowels of the earth they come,

Blackened and smoky and grim,

Climbing the slope, for the shift is done;

They stand erect on the rim.

Strong and husky their muscles show

Under the coating of black

And they stretch their arms and blink in the sun

And wonder if tallies are slack.

With lights that glitter on shabby caps

They go their way without talk;

Their heavy pit-boots caked with clay

Give thundering sound to their walk.

They walk, and think as they thud along

Of days that are turned into night

These men that slave in endless gloom

To give us light.

This poem is often attributed to E. Pauline Johnson (1861-1913.)  Born to a Mohawk father and an English immigrant mother, her Mohawk name Tekahionwake means "double life." Her poetry which celebrated First Nations heritage was well known in Canada and the UK in the late 1800s. Her most well known poem is "The Song My Paddle Sings" (1912) 

This poem may also have been written by a different Canadian poet, though some think the subject of underground coal mining is more suggestive of a Welsh poet.

photo from npr.org

Mother Doesn't Want a Dog

Mother doesn’t want a dog.

Mother says they smell,
And never sit when you say sit,
Or even when you yell.

And when you come home late at night
And there is ice and snow,
You have to go back out because
The dumb dog has to go.

Mother doesn’t want a dog.
Mother says they shed,
And always let the strangers in
And bark at friends instead,

And do disgraceful things on rugs,
And track mud on the floor,
And flop upon your bed at night
And snore their doggy snore.

Mother doesn’t want a dog.
She’s making a mistake.
Because, more than a dog, I think
She will not want this snake.

Judith Viorst 

From If I Were in Charge of the World and Other Worries, published by Macmillan, 1981.

I'm Not Disappointed, I'm Very Appointed!

Your dad says that sometimes...
They're called unpaired negatives, those words that (apparently) have no opposite.

I have no illusions about my ability to explain this... I hope you won't be disillusioned.

Way back when, mayhap you will recall that hap was related to happen and was the positive
that corresponded to hapless.

If you read stories about the age of chivalry, you will remember that knights wielded swords with great skill, and wield was the positive that corresponded to unwieldy.

Though wordsmiths may use somnolent to correspond to insomnia
In modern English there is no
gainly corresponding to ungainly, nor
gruntled to correspond to disgruntled or
pulsive for repulsive

In many other cases, the positives that existed in Old English have disappeared, leaving only the negatives

For a more complete discussion (and the origin of unkempt) see Wide World of Words
http://www.worldwidewords.org/articles/unpaired.htm

also a brain-teasing poem using unpaired negatives
http://blogs.abc.net.au/queensland/2008/03/daniel-viless-v.html

Crazy Horse Returns to South Dakota

No photographs exist.    This man

comes to us unrecorded

            yet recently

inhabiting the fitful dreams

of south dakota farmers

They say he makes them nervous       Watching

from a stand of cottonwoods

his eyes are like

two small dark moons

                       

                                    regarding the various tractors

                                    that slice and rut the earth

His horse is plain           he has

an average build            the most normal

of men              yet there is

a blue stone tied behind his ear

the sparrowhawk skin upon his head

and around his body a stormy light

            electric blue

He appears suddenly

among the trees

as they are opening the earth

Or just beyond their kitchen windows

still and watching

or seated on the ground

a hand upon each kneecap

            a pose adequate enough

for any man of beauty.

            And when the time comes

to describe his face

they stare into their coffee cups

by Harly Elliot from “All Beautyful and Foolish Souls” Trumansburg NY , The Crossing Press,  1974 p. 10-11

sketch from wikipedia.com

"As we tore along through the lanes and hedgerows, Clarence worked the gear stick like a snake charmer grappling with a willful cobra, seizing its head every few seconds and shoving it to some new quarter of the compass"
From "The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag" by Alan Bradley

Nature Girl by Carl Hiaasen

"...watching the sun melt like sorbet into the Gulf of Mexico."
from "Nature Girl" by Carl Hiaasen

Preserving Nature, One Wacky Character at a Time

"The chopper banked and then hovered near the dolphins which began vaulting and doing flips.  The mullets sprang like silver fireworks."

"Their table overlooked the river where jumping fish flashed like squirts of mercury under the dock lights."

from "Nature Girl"  by Carl Hiaasen

I love Carl Hiaasen's work for his cry to save Florida.  But also for his wacky characters and wonderful prose.